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Handelisms

The New Testament 2012 - 2014

 
Posted December 4th, 2012 @ 6:51am

 

2014

 

1/23 6:10am  "Was he wearing flap jacks?"

No, Handel, he was wearing FLIP FLOPS.

 

1/9  7:55am  "What did he know and when did he knowed it"

Whaa??

 

Unknown date/ time

"Nelson Mandela was the leader of the anti-apartment movement"

Really? He hated apartments?

 

"Labrador Receivers"

That would be retrievers, Bill.

 

"The coroner performed his own coronation"

What the hell?

 

 

2013

9/10 8:12am  "Bully Puppet"

Bully PULPIT

 

9/10  5:22am  "Ciley Myrus"

OK, this is getting ridiculous...MILEY CYRUS, Handel!

6/18  5:24am   "Coach Roaches"

That's ROACH Coaches, Handel

 

6/10  8:38am  "Lecture Circus"

Methinks you mean Lecture Circuit


 

6/4  7:12am  "Synapsis"

Ummm, synopsis, maybe?

 

2012

12/4  6:42am  "Lenny Dick-stra"

That's Lenny Dyke-Stra Handel....

 

10/5  7:52  "Leo LaTech"

Leo LaPORTE, Bill....

10/5 6:56  "Canadia"

Canada to you and me

10/3 8:15  "he ripped them to shorts"

Thinkin' he meant 'shreads'...how he got to shorts we have NO idea.

10/2  6:11  "Amtruck Train"

Train, truck, what's the difference?

 

 

10/1  6:40   (discussing the upcoming debate between Obama & Romney)  "they were out trying to do each other"

Methinks he meant 'they were trying to out-DO each other"

9/25  8:38  "Ass-ghanistan"

I'm sure you know what he meant

8/28 6:51 "There's something going on in my throat"

#itcouldbethemamacasssizebiteofsandwichyoujusttook

8/28 5:50am "You can die of death"

Yes... yes you can... Oh Handel.

8/16 7:26am  "It's between a hard place and a rock"

Um...Handel, you're doing it wrong!

8/13 6:10am  "The debate between Byan and Ryan will be great"

You mean BIDEN right?

8/9 6:28am  Handel: "It's the last hoo-ha"

Um, you meant 'hurrah'....Hoo ha is something VERY different Handel 

8/8 7:42am -- "Well, maybe George Skoros"

He means George Soros

8/8  5:40am -- With regard to Serena Williams' 'crip walk' after her Olympic gold win..."It looks like Happy Face"

That would be 'Happy FEET' Bill

8/6/12 6:45am -- "What about the electrical college?"

Uh, yea, that's not right....

7/31/12  7:08 -- "John Holmes was charged with 24 counts of murder, uh, John, um James...James Holmes."

John Holmes would be charged with something VERY different, Handel.

7/25/12 all morning -- 'Chick-A-Fil'

Um yeah....

7/25/12  5:09am  -- "He went beyond and above"

Um, you have it backward Handel

7/24/12  6:53am  -- Apparently, 'Neil Diamond' was the first man on the moon

What the hell did he learn in school?


2/5/12  time unknown  -- "Fartasutical"

Pharmaceutical

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