This blog may contain profanity and/or material considered inappropriate. The views expressed in this blog are the opinions of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of KFI AM-640 and Clear Channel Radio.
Stop your complaining. I asked for blogs. I even asked for selfies...clothed selfies. But did you come through? No.
I did, however, get 4 unsolicited cat photos. I have no idea why.
This was the cutest.
Stealing firefighters stuff =Ahole
Stealing firefighters stuff while they're protecting homes =A+Ahole
Stealing firefighters stuff while they're protecting homes on the eve of 9-11 =A+ Ahole with a ticket straight to hell
From KFI News:
Some stuff has been stolen from firefighters working on a fire burning in the Bay Area. The crew got back to their firehouse Monday in Walnut Creek to find i-Pads, watches, cash and even two wedding rings...gone. The firefighters had spent 24 hours protecting at least 100 buildings threatened by a fire at the Mt. Diablo State Park.
Got this email over the weekend. This is the kinda joy I like to pass on to you people.
I was sitting at home Saturday night watching Inside Edition Weekend (not bragging) when they showed Sydney Leathers' violent plastic surgery. The link below only has the text version, but hopefully they will post, or re-air the full piece.
I almost feel bad for her. She could have gone through life thinking she was super hot, but she had to leave small town Indiana. For my money, her tattoos and personality is what needed work.
On second thought, screw her - she referred to herself as hot and intelligent in her J&K interview, so this is what happens.
Read the Inside Edition story here
That's the blog title because %$#@ is what I'd have to type for a lot of words in one guest blogger entry. Another is about porn...like 5 paragraphs. So people. Let's get it together, eh?
Hit me with something mildly entertaining and you're in. Notice I said, mildly. It doesn't need to win a Pulitzer folks.
Pictures are also welcome. But NO selfies. Wait.
Waaaaiiitt a minute.
SELFIES! Please send your selfies to firstname.lastname@example.org and YOU could appear on this blog!!
Can't believe I didn't think of this earlier.
People keep saying to me today, "Sweet Jesus." I didn't know what to think at first, then it hit me. My blog yesterday was titled, Sweet Jesus and it included a picture of Gary Hoffman, or as we call him around here: G6.
Because he's fly like a G6.
Anywho, some of us got to talking and we wondered if G6 was hungover when said picture was taken. I said no because he doesn't strike me as a drinker. But then I thought back and remembered a picture on the FB of G6 and his hot wife. They were at a beer festival type thing the night before, AHA!!
Suddenly, we were confronted with this burning question: How many beers does it take to G6 achieve that look in the morning?
Ok, not him. But like Jesus, this guy also has a show on Sunday mornings. I'm working early today so I can go see the Bangles. Yeah, I said it. Anywho, this is what I saw upon arriving for work.
Now, THAT is some hair.
Some colleges are making upwards of 90 million a year off football programs so there's pressure to find more talent. That means recruiters are looking at a larger pool of players and now that pool has extended to middle schools.
When I heard kids as young as 13 were getting football scholarship offers I thought, "Well, this can't be good."
I set out to do a story on kids being run into the ground with 2 a days, 7 on 7s, off-season practices and injuries.
What I found were well behaved and well-spoken kids with a goal of going to school, not neccessarily being Cam Newton. They are smart about social media because they know recuiters are looking through all their accounts to see what kind of kid they're investing in. They take care of themselves when it comes to nutrition and fitness which means they rarely get injured. And parents are stoked their kids have a shot at college.
Sure, there's more pressure. Sure, there's the occasional Ahole parent who pushes too hard. But for the most part, these kids love it. So, here's the story.
1. I tweeted this but I want to mention it again: Miley Cyrus does not have a big enough a** to twerk.
2. The only thing that thought was missing was *selfie*.
3. I just heard a song on the radio and thought, "I LOVED this song when I was 13!!" And then I heard the lyrics and I thought, " Holy $%#^, I never knew what those lyrics meant! Gross. I was only 13!!"
4. I am old.
5. Hint: It was an R & B hit loaded with innuendo.
6. I kinda knew something was off with that council person from San Diego when he was on last week with J and K. He kept saying "San Diegan." I find that term more annoying than "moist." Well, this week we hear he may have been mastubating at council meetings.
7. John Kobylt has three--THREE--bird calenders above his desk.
8. I like to talk football with Ken but lately, I can't. See, his team is the Jets and well...that's a bit depressing, for him. I guess I could talk about Rex Ryan's weight loss? Also, I just drafted Brady in my fantasy draft and I think he'd stop talking to me forever if I told him that.
Eight is enough for now. Carry on.
Here we go folks! From Thomas Wictor...Enjoy! It is quite the smack talking rant.
The woman gets her inspiration from aquatic mammals. She looks like an upright manatee, has hippopotamus tusks, and communicates in the gravelly bellow
of a harbor seal. The man makes a U-turn into my driveway every single night in his giant truck with the high beams on. Every night a silent nuclear explosion goes off outside, as blinding white light pierces my blinds for five or six seconds. That's ironic because the husband is shaped like Fat Man, the atomic bomb dropped on Nagasaki.
When I first heard the human-goat dog, the sound was so horrifying that I had to go out and identify the source and location. I didn't know if a mummified prospector who'd died in the 1849 gold rush had gotten rehydrated and come up out of the ground to find something to eat. Or maybe someone had stumbled on a stockpile of dioxin from the fifties, had half-melted himself, and was yelling
for help. Learning that it was just a malformed dog allowed me to put up with the noise.
It's easier for me to endure something if I understand it. The French philosopher, mathematician, physicist, inventor, and writer Blaise Pascal (1623-1662) said, "To understand is to forgive."
Well, he didn't live next door to a manatee and a truck-driving atomic bomb...who own a screaming human-goat dog.
It's fun to write about my neighbors. Since they're illiterate, they'll never know what I said publicly about them.