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Look what she got me over the weekend!!!
...Until you get to the beach balls.
The police report that he also stole women's underwear from various laundromats in the area when the women weren't paying attention. At his home, police found stolen photos and porn next to stacks of ladies' undergarments.
Back at the hospital, he reportedly masturbated in the office of the director of nurses, where he stole two photos and left "a trail of semen" telling officers he had a thing for blonds though he denied masturbating in her office. No word on if he only kinda liked brunettes and redheads. He even walked into women's bathrooms and scared women in them. He did admit to jerking off in bathrooms at the hospital, so there's that.
But the best part had to come (pardon the pun) at his home, where in addition to the porn, underwear he apparently liked to touch and sniff when he was "alone" (um, EW!), and stolen photos, cops found several beach balls. Why in the name of all that's holy would this guy have beach balls in his house?
Wait for it.
According to the report, he "would put on a dress and put one of the beach balls under it and pretend he was pregnant." No word on if this was to enhance his already rather voracious perverted appetites, but it seems clear this was more than a costume party and Halloween was a full two months ago, so draw your own conclusions.
John, Ken and I were talking about how they sell caskets at Costco and how it's a bit weird seeing the "samples" on the way out the door. Both said they wanted to make it clear they do not want to be buried; they would like to be cremated. If you missed it, that's when John said he'd like some of his ashes to reside with some of Ken's ashes. I offered to keep the "mixed urn" on my mantle.
They could go with a simple wooden option.
Or, go with marble.
I don't know...This next one is kinda cool.
But, I don't think Ken likes cats. Here's a good one!
Last year about this time we had to hear about NY Jets coach Rex Ryan and his foot fetish. There were photos...I'm not going to rehash that one for you; use a google machine. Now, we see this.
Look closer. Or don't...
It's a tattoo of his wife, in a Mark Sanchez jersey, tebowing. Oh no no no no no...
From ESPN: The New York Jets' quarterback controversy has entered uncharted waters -- as crystal clear as they may be.
A vacationing Rex Ryan was spotted and photographed Thursday sporting a tattoo of a woman who appears to be his wife, wearing only a green jersey with Mark Sanchez's No. 6 on it and posing in a way many would say resembles a crouching Tim Tebow.
According to a story in the New York Daily News, Ryan cursed at the reporter while "storming away," but not before an image had been captured of Ryan lying prone with a book in his left hand with the illustration on his other upper arm. Above it is another tattoo of a green shamrock featuring the names of his wife and children.
Is it me or were sales people more pushy this holiday season? I don't mind a friendly "Hello!" when I enter a store but it's the constant questioning and pressure that really got on my nerves this season. Maybe it's because I'm doing more online shopping so the human interaction seems suffocating. I hope that's not it though. I don't want to be a technology first, people second kinda girl. I hope it was just that the people were pushier... I guess I won't worry until I move to Mom's basement.
ATTENTION: NEW FUN BLOG FEATURE! Everytime the title is "Vomit Vomit Vomit," you will be treated to a story in the news that makes you want to, you guessed it, vomit vomit vomit!
Today, the Vomit Vomit Vomit comes from the NY Post. Here is the part that did it:
America’s anti-sweethearts are back together!
Disgraced Democratic pretty boy John Edwards and loopy lover Rielle Hunter have rekindled their on-again, off-again romance in such a loud, passionate manner, their neighbors are complaining about the noise, according to published reports.
While they live separately in Chapel Hill, NC, their homes are so close that Edwards reportedly makes regular visits to her pad, turning it into their high-volume love shack.
“When they get a little tipsy, they get so frisky that their lovemaking becomes embarrassingly loud,” a source close to the couple told The National Enquirer.
Nice guy named Ernie runs the building we broadcast from here in Burbank. Often, he sends out emails when problems arise. Sometimes the emails are about a lost diamond ring, lost plastic crates, lost mail. Sometimes, they are hilarious. He's like the den mother, er father.
Here was today's "issue":
I've been thinking about what to get John and Ken for Christmas. I could go with the obvious: bath salts. But that just seems too easy. I though of maybe an Elmo doll....but that seemed in bad taste and well, bad taste will not do for these two.
I thought about getting some hot dogs because they talk about weiners all the time. However, that presents a refrigeration issue. Sheep...maybe I could buy something sheep related for John. He likes sheep. For Ken, I thought maybe a Karaoke machine...he likes to sing.
I don't know. Thoughts?