Back to school shopping time in my house. As the mother of a lovely young lady entering Jr. High this year, I was excited for this time honored tradition and rite-of-passage. It was clearly time to cave in and take that next step. Abercrombie, Hollister, and Aeropostale.

Has anyone else noticed what an all-out assault on the senses tween shopping has become? First there's the assault on sight & smell at Abercrombie. Borderline porno shopping bags at checkout and cologne SO STRONG you need a damn gas mask to go into that stupid store.

Next is the assault on your ears. Especially bad at Hollister, but frankly they're all guilty of it. Pumping the beats at such a blaring volume it drowns out your maternal objections to outfits on the basis of "too much skin".

Finally... can we get a little room to actually MANUEVER around your store a bit? Must you cram so much crap into your alloted square footage?

It is... and WAS... enough to send me running for Nordstrom/Brass Plum and Macy's for the same crap at better prices. And you know what? She didn't object. She was annoyed by the volume and odiferous assault too. Are you listening teen stores? I'm sure you've spent thousands on focus groups that tell you how 'so totally awesome' this approach is. I'm sure too, that you're trying to up the ante on each other by out-scenting, out-jamming, out-cluttering your competition. But seriously, take a step back and realize you've become something worthy of a Saturday Night Live skit. Our little brats may love your stuff, but their parents have to be able to tolerate a trip in to pay.