The tweet appeared in my Twitter timeline last night, and don't you know I was clicking that link in a NANO second. After all, it's a perverse instinct we have to read and worry about just how much we are screwing up as parents. How likely we are to steer our daughters toward stripper poles and sons straight to juvie by doing it ALL WRONG.
So when this aforementioned tweet hinted that a new study shows strict parenting will increase the likelihood of delinquent behavior, I had to go look at the car wreck. I'd probably categorize myself as a strict parent after all, since my 12-year-old child is still not allowed to do MANY of the things that her peers already do.
Imagine my relief, and hopefully yours, when I saw the research actually validates what I already intuitively know... that firm rules and boundaries ARE a good thing. It wasn't making an argument for permissive parenting. The study was about UBER hard-liners. Those homes where kids not only don't get a VOTE, but don't even have a voice. Never even get heard long enough to be overruled. Web MD shared the following facts about the study that was published in the Journal of Adolescence:
There are basically three types parenting styles:
- Authoritative parents show discipline but also some warmth.
- Authoritarian parents show a lot of discipline and no warmth.
- Permissive parents show a lot of warmth and no discipline.
Authoritative Parenting Gets Respect and Results
According to the new study, authoritarian parents are most likely to raise children who are disrespectful of parental authority and/or engage in delinquent behaviors. Being overly permissive also has its downsides. The key is to strike it somewhere in the middle, Trinkner says.
“The best approach, from my perspective, is to be an authoritative parent. This means have discipline and standards for behavior and also showing warmth and also being receptive to a child's needs.”
So there ya go. We now know what we already knew. Again. Although these little reminders never hurt, right? After all, in a moment of exasperation and parental laziness last week, I DID find myself uttering that phrase to my 4-year-old. That phrase I swore I'd never stoop to: "BECAUSE I SAID SO!!".
Now when she gets hauled in for flipping off the po-po at 14 we'll know who to blame.





