Honorable Mention
And unpack your adjectives
#9
Hot Dog!
#8
#7
Free drinks at the 'thunder mug'
#6
Life Alert 3.0
#5
Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock! Freeze! Rock!
#4
Chide and Seek
#3
and they all went to heaven in a little row boat. Clap Clap...
#2
Thumpety thump thump, thumpety thump thump
#1
And an accordion works in reverse.
Honorable Mention
#9
Go pop-a-cap after class
#8
#7
"Penis Toy, sounds a little redundant."
#6
Vegas! Maybe... Vegas!
#5
TWA never did find my cat
#4
53 king cobras equals 2120 ounces
#3
One hour per pound sounds about right
#2
#1
"Colt 45, it works everytime."
Honorable mention:
#9
Smellovision 2014
#8
New Slogan: "Just Tie One On."
#7
Punxsutawney Phil held for further questioning answers, “It happening again!”
#6
#5
#4
“I am older now but I still remember/I took the greatest fall/I can't accept her."
#3
F Oklahoma Tax Commission
#2
Hey, it really is a racing snail!
#1
Pupil Shampoo optional
Kermit Gosnell Trial
Grand Jury Testimony Link
(NSFW) Here
The documentary:
Nine News Nuggets You Need to Know.
Honorable Mention
Daisy, Daisy give me your answer do…
#9
Cuz I got high, cuz I got high, cuz I got high.
#8
i.e. Weathervein (sic)
#7
Huh, huh, 500 year old wood.
#6
Bet they play Skrillex in the waiting room
#5
I’m still an Edward ‘40 hands guy myself.
#4
Free the girls! His life depend on them! …please?
#3
“…That's the umbilical cord.” I said, “Don't cut that. let him dream for a while.”
#2
Poop…in…spaaaace!
#1
Baabaa Bo'zorg Paradox
# Honorable Mention
Or you can use it to collect all of Voldemort's Horcruxes!
#9
AKA: Brahmins, Kshatriyas, Vaisyas, Sudras, Harijans
#8
1.21 Kegelwatts? Great Scott!
#7
I want to ride my bicycle
#6
For
#5
You can call her Flower if you want to.
#4
An L5 for an L5
#3 Stoned and Starving
#2 Oo-kii-mono
#1
….and so far up your ass that you will have toes for teeth
Important Links
Sons of baseball Facebook page
The O.C. Register article that started it all.
Honorable Mention
POTUS single malt
#9 Kansas City has it's eye on you
#8 Nice Try Katniss
#7 That was great. Do it again.
#6
#5
And comes with a copy of Sex and the City II
#4
The scientific term is "hoo-hah."
#3
#2 Nail Mail
#1
Chocolate milk sloshball it is.
Honorable Mention: Private jet tickets for cheap... if you pass the interview stage
#9: Woman digs another woman's eye out of socket
#8: Death Wish is the 'most highly caffeinated premium dark roast organic coffee in the world.' Sounds yummy.
#7: Connecticut lawmakers are considering a bill that would allow malt beverages and beer to be sold in pliable pouches.
#6: Sex toy massages... on throats?
#5: Can't yell "Bingo!" if you don't have a Bingo. Duh.
#4: Cool it on the Axe, children.
#3: Itchy back? Could be a knife blade.
#2: "Mommy! Mommy! Mommy! Are we there yet? Mommy! Mommy! MMOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!!"
#1: Whatever happened to, "Where did you grow up?"
My younger son goes to Temple, where he’s a sophomore. This year he’s living in an apartment with two friends at 19th and Diamond, just a few blocks from campus. It’s a dangerous neighborhood. Whenever I go see Nick, I get antsy and wonder what I was thinking, allowing him to rent there.
One day, before I pick him up for lunch, I stop to talk to a cop who’s parked a block away from Nick’s apartment.
Read the rest of the story from Philadelphia Magazine here
