12/4  6:42am  "Lenny Dick-stra"

That's Lenny Dyke-Stra Handel....

10/5  7:52  "Leo LaTech"

Leo LaPORTE, Bill....

10/5 6:56  "Canadia"

Canada to you and me

10/3 8:15  "he ripped them to shorts"

Thinkin' he meant 'shreads'...how he got to shorts we have NO idea.

10/2  6:11  "Amtruck Train"

Train, truck, what's the difference?

10/1  6:40   (discussing the upcoming debate between Obama & Romney)  "they were out trying to do each other"

Methinks he meant 'they were trying to out-DO each other"

9/25  8:38  "Ass-ghanistan"

I'm sure you know what he meant

8/28 6:51 "There's something going on in my throat"

#itcouldbethemamacasssizebiteofsandwichyoujusttook

8/28 5:50am "You can die of death"

Yes... yes you can... Oh Handel.

8/16 7:26am  "It's between a hard place and a rock"

Um...Handel, you're doing it wrong!

8/13 6:10am  "The debate between Byan and Ryan will be great"

You mean BIDEN right?

8/9 6:28am  Handel: "It's the last hoo-ha"

Um, you meant 'hurrah'....Hoo ha is something VERY different Handel 

8/8 7:42am -- "Well, maybe George Skoros"

He means George Soros

8/8  5:40am -- With regard to Serena Williams' 'crip walk' after her Olympic gold win..."It looks like Happy Face"

That would be 'Happy FEET' Bill

8/6/12 6:45am -- "What about the electrical college?"

Uh, yea, that's not right....

7/31/12  7:08 -- "John Holmes was charged with 24 counts of murder, uh, John, um James...James Holmes."

John Holmes would be charged with something VERY different, Handel.

7/25/12 all morning -- 'Chick-A-Fil'

Um yeah....

7/25/12  5:09am  -- "He went beyond and above"

Um, you have it backward Handel

7/24/12  6:53am  -- Apparently, 'Neil Diamond' was the first man on the moon

What the hell did he learn in school?

2/5/12  time unknown  -- "Fartasutical"

Pharmaceutical