Time to give you a little lesson on movie promotion – it’s the hottest thing now to tell you that this upcoming movie is brought to you by…say the guys who gave you “The Hangover”. It’s deceptive and cheap – after all, even a successful baseball hitter only has to get 3 hits for every 10 at bats. Let’s face it – most movies stink or are mediocre at best. Usually, they push the stars in a movie to get your attention, but if there aren’t any “A listers”, the plan is to give you a list of the producers or directors’ previous smash hit credits.
That being said, “Prometheus” is brought to by the guy who brought you “Alien”. Yes, that “Alien” from 1979. The one with Sigourney Weaver and that disgusting creature that popped out of the guys stomach. And those sequels – the thinking is, you loved them, you’ll love this. Well, not so fast.
“Prometheus” is the name of the spaceship that travels way out there to find what the explorers hope is the origin of mankind. Wow, that’s a big undertaking. Led by a cast of mostly unknowns (that’s why they say it’s brought to you by the guy who brought you “Alien”), the 17 member crew is obviously going to go down in some grisly fashion one by one or two by two. That’s a given – sadly, it’s mostly not so terrifying to watch.
Why? I’m still not sure – things seem too derivative (besides the obvious “Alien” ripoffs, it looked like “The Thing” at times) and the pacing was off. We start by checking out a husband and wife research team who are convinced they may have found an invitation to deep space through their archeological digs. Played by Noomi Rapace and Logan Marshall Green, (see what I mean about unknowns), they are not particularly sympathetic. I just never rooted for them, not the way you wanted old Sigourney to survive. Plus, we gloss over everything at the beginning so quick, its boom and now we’re on that ship.
Charlize Theron is a known – she’s in two big movies at once right now (“Snow White and The Huntsman”), but here she plays the paranoid and creepy daughter of the old rich guy who is financing the couple’s mission. I almost couldn’t wait for her to go under.
Speaking of the old guy who bankrolled the exploration, his name is Peter Weyland and under all the makeup is none other than Guy Pearce. Bad news there – Guy’s a good actor but it’s a way overdone makeup job and he’s in it so briefly his character brings no gravitas to the happenings.
The rest of the human crew is a ragtag bunch – literally. Where did they get these street looking people? I mean it’s a privately financed crew, but who would want to be stuck on a ship in deep space with these guys? Yuck – no rooting interest there either. And then there’s the usual dumb horror movie moves – take this -would you approach a creepy snake thing that just popped out of what might be water on another planet and say “how cute – how are you? Come here”…
The only interesting character to watch is David, the cyborg played by Michael Fassbender. That’s how it went – I’m into a robot. He was a bit hard to figure until later in the movie and continued to amuse and mystify right to the end. Which, by the way, never seemed to come – this one has several “false endings” (I actually got up and watched the rest from the hallway). But if you stay, enjoy the Ridley Scott tribute to none other than Ridley himself. I’ll say no more – I give “Prometheus” a “6”, mostly because I love science fiction alien creature storylines.
