In 1993, I was a 21-year-old comunity college student working full-time in the wonderful world of retail.
I took a Radio/ Television production class that required an internship, I dreamed of finding an internship at a television station and making it big in the world of TV.
Well, that didn’t happen. I got an internship at KFI.
Little did I know that KFI was poised to become THE talk station in Southern California. After my internship spent opening mail and answering phones, I was approached with the opportunity to be a “screener” on The Bill Handel show....for a whopping $5.25 an hour!
(Never mind that I had to drive an HOUR from the OC every day at 4am. So even though gas was, I think, 99 cents a gallon at the time, my $5.25 an hour and 20 hours a week barely paid for the gas needed to get back and forth to work. So I had to keep my full-time job as well, all while going to school full-time.)
Little did I know that screeners were just a step up from pond scum and my job served three basic purposes.
Eventually, my part-time thing turned into working many more hours than I should for no additional pay to learn about the wonderful world of producing.
When Bill's producer went on maternity leave, I filled in. When she decided not to return, I was asked if I wanted the job for a pittance above what I was already making. Against my better judgment, I said yes.
Because of that, I missed out on the opportunity to transfer to a university for a REAL college experience (you know what I’m talking about... slacking off and stumbling home half-naked with puke in your hair after getting rip-roaring drunk at fraternity parties.)
With the exception of about 2 years when I worked on other projects here at KFI, I’ve been with Bill’s show my entire KFI career. Why? I like that Bill's a big A-hole and it's fun for me knowing that the women in Bill’s life control him…I like being a part of that.
So that’s it about me except that I’m a native New Yorker, a "Lawng Gyelander"....brought forcibly to California by my parents at the tender age of 15. I’m half Italian/half German, my breasts are a 40D (Bill said to add that) and I’m reasonably OK looking. I got married October 2010, but we've been together since 2001.
My husband and I have a dog, Princess Grace Kelly...a 6 pound chihuahua that controls our lives.
This blog may contain profanity and/or material considered inappropriate. The views expressed in this blog are the opinions of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of KFI AM-640 and Clear Channel Radio.
For those of you who think I've left the show. I have not, I'm just on vacation. I take vacation around this time of year because it's my wedding anniversary (2 years married, 11 years together)
So, what did hubby and I have in store for our anniversary?
The Happiest Place on Earth!
Yes folks, we spent two blissful days at Disneyland, and California Adventure. I hadn't been to Disneyland in at least 15 years (hubby even longer than that) and neither of us had been to California Adventure, so we figured it was a good time to go. We got some park hopper passes for a few days and we were off.
There's a lot new at Disneyland, and then again there's not. It looked a lil' dingy, the employees weren't as happy to work there as I had remembered and the Matterhorn and the Haunted Mansion didn't live up to what we both remembered, but, all in all, we really enjoyed ourselves. Space Mountain was awesome, loved Star Tours, and all the little kid rides were great, and California Adventure...WOW, we rode California Screamin' THREE times, Tower of Terror twice and got soaked on the water ride. We refused to wait the 105 minutes for the Cars Land Autopia thing (they weren't giving out Fast Passes) but all in all we just had some good fun.
Except for the crop dusting.
Let me explain.
While on line for Pinocchio's Big Adventure, a group of about 4 adults decided they wanted to leave the line, so they backtracked through the line, and as they passed, someone, my guess it was the really big guy holding the giant, nearly eaten turkey leg....
Now it took a second to catch it. Just prior to the smell hitting us, the woman a few feet ahead of us literally retched, then I got it, then I turned around and hubby got it, and I watched as it made it's way down the line.
"We just got crop dusted" I said to hubby, who found my comment, so funny, he spit out the water he was drinking.
For those of you not in 'the know.' "Crop dusting" is when someone is walking and continiously farting at the same time, usually in the hopes that the people they are walking with won't know they just farted. Instead, the leave the aftermath to those following behind.
It is NOT NICE!!
It was SO WRONG.
But I put it behind us.
That is, until it happened again.
Walking through the crowd on our way to Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, a guy comes jogging by, and sure enough a few seconds later, WHAM. WTF!?!?!?!
"We got crop dusted again!" which sent hubby into another fit of giggles, this time sans water spray.
Then....IT HAPPENED AGAIN.
Onboard the Snow White ride, we got into our little car and started through the ride, when all of a sudden, WHAM! It hit us! We got crop dusted AGAIN!
The next day, at California Adventure, I was sure that we were past the crop dusting...but alas, California Adventure sells beer, and beer apparently led to a LOT MORE CROP DUSTING INCIDENTS... in line, on rides, walking through the crowds. IT WAS INSANE!!! WTF!!!
I really want to know what the hell is wrong with people? I mean, it's just so inappropriate to do this in a crowd of unsuspecting people. Do people get some kind of sick pleasure walking around farting and leaving the stench of what they just had for lunch out there for the rest of us?
Look, I get that every once in a while you might have to let one slip out, but gheez, please try to do it in a place where it's appropriate, a bathroom maybe, or back yourself up to a bush and kill that, don't endanger the lives of others with your crop dusting. I mean, if one person actually pukes because of a crop duster, it could set off a chain reaction, and that would lead to a very sick situation in the Happiest Place on Earth.
I think crop dusting should be illegal. If you're found guilty of the crime, you should be sentenced to wearing those charcoal fart pads in your chonies for LIFE.
I'm thinking we need a Smokey The Bear type PSA for this thing. Farty the Bear says "Only YOU can prevent crop dusting." There's got to be money in the California budget for that, I'm writing Gov. Brown!
You crop dusting BASTARDS!