In 1993, I was a 21-year-old community college student working full-time in the wonderful world of retail.
I took a Radio/ Television production class that required an internship, I dreamed of finding an internship at a television station and making it big in the world of TV.
Well, that didn’t happen. I got an internship at KFI.
Little did I know that KFI was poised to become THE talk station in Southern California. After my internship spent opening mail and answering phones, I was approached with the opportunity to be a “screener” on The Bill Handel show....for a whopping $5.25 an hour!
(Never mind that I had to drive an HOUR from the OC every day at 4am. So even though gas was, I think, 99 cents a gallon at the time, my $5.25 an hour and 20 hours a week barely paid for the gas needed to get back and forth to work. So I had to keep my full-time job as well, all while going to school full-time.)
Little did I know that screeners were just a step up from pond scum and my job served three basic purposes.
Eventually, my part-time thing turned into working many more hours than I should for no additional pay to learn about the wonderful world of producing.
When Bill's producer went on maternity leave, I filled in. When she decided not to return, I was asked if I wanted the job for a pittance above what I was already making. Against my better judgment, I said yes.
Because of that, I missed out on the opportunity to transfer to a university for a REAL college experience (you know what I’m talking about... slacking off and stumbling home half-naked with puke in your hair after getting rip-roaring drunk at fraternity parties.)
With the exception of about 2 years when I worked on other projects here at KFI, I’ve been with Bill’s show my entire KFI career. Why? I like that Bill's a big A-hole and it's fun for me knowing that the women in Bill’s life control him…I like being a part of that.
So that’s it about me except that I’m a native New Yorker, a "Lawng Gyelander"....brought forcibly to California by my parents at the tender age of 15. I’m half Italian/half German, my breasts are a 42F (I used to think they were a 40D, but after seeing 'bra wizard' I realized I had been wearing the wrong size for all these years) and I’m reasonably OK looking. I got married October 2010, but we've been together since 2001.
My husband and I have a dog, Princess Grace Kelly...a 6 pound chihuahua that controls our lives.
This blog may contain profanity and/or material considered inappropriate. The views expressed in this blog are the opinions of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of KFI AM-640 and Clear Channel Radio.
There seems to be a never ending supply of puckerbutts in the world.
For those that don’t know, a puckerbutt is a person whose butt twitches anytime that Bill says something mildly offensive.
In an effort to ease their obvious anal distress, we would like to take a moment to apologize to them and any and all other possible people, organizations, races, aliens, religions or animals that we could have possibly offended, included but not limited to:
Listener Mary, John McCain, President Obama, John Kerry, The Movie Eyes Wide Shut, Oklahoma, Jack Nicolson, Pope Francis, Mylie Cyrus, fat kids and the Masons
The Swedish chef
Anyone who engages in the practice of ‘kiestering’ a gun
So hubby and I are babysitting, oh wait, sorry Gary....DOGSITTING...a neighbor's dog this week. Meet Crumb.
Crumb was a little afraid of us at first, she particularly didn't like hubby, but she came around...
She even relaxed enough to fall asleep, in an unusual way...
She eventually got used to hubby so we're all having a lot of fun...except one person... Princess is PISSED OFF.
Don't believe me...just look...
So, Handel's birthday is Sunday, so I decided to be a bit festive this morning and take note of it today. I couldn't bring in a cake because I know he's on Lindora (so am I) so I didn't want to tempt us.
The morning crew and I got Handel a card, which I feel describes him PERFECTLY...
We got him gifts.... I got him a $5 California Lottery Scratcher, an easy one. One where he just had to scratch it off and just look for a '7' and he kept asking 'did I win?' No...he didn't win... we also got him these
And this is what the birthday boy looked like when he saw it all.
He acts like he hates it, but I will bet you $10 that had we FORGOTTEN to mark his birthday, he would have been PISSED.
Princess is getting quite computer saavy. Even though the doesn't have opposable thumbs, she managed to take a selfie. She modeled herself after Geraldo, saing '6 is the new 3'.
If you're not following the show @billhandelshow on Twitter, you should be.
Here's some of the tweets you're missing:
Hoping that producers of Sharknado 2 will this time do us a favor & kill off Tara Reid & Ian Ziering, so there won't be a Sharkando 3
what should Sharknado 2 be called? Neil says 'Sharknado 2 : Electric Boogaloo'
I need to go back and count how many times Handel said #vagina in that last segment
he totally forgot to turn on his mic again...WTF!!!!!?!?!?!
Bill just sneezed into his had and said 'yuck'...i don't want to know what that means....not looking
Fun Handel fact! Handel plays with tape.
Sooo..Bill just dropped a can of Diet Coke on the ground, shld I tell him NOT 2 open it b/c it will spray all over him? Decisions, decisions
Handel is SO excited, his infomercial product the 'Stone Wave" actually WORKS. Thumbs UP from Handel. Now 4 the Zoomies,it's a thumb's down.
Who wants to bet that the Leno folks edited out the roars of laughter after the President said "We don't have a domestic spying program'....
Yes Handel, we will 'show you the audio'. It's radio....
Um yeah handel, I don't think' surgically implanted' bombs means 'bombs planted under a street'. We're talking INSIDE a terrorist.
"Hello, my name is George, I'm unemployed & I live with my parents" ......
Handel's just seen this video (it came out last year) and he loves it. Warning: involves a Jewnicorn http://www.kfiam640.com/pages/billhandel.html?article=11534748 …
I know there's been an awful amount of dog stuff lately, but I figured you could use a break from updates about Handel's nose picking and ball scratching.
If I could get Princess to do this, I would love it. Check out this dog doing 'Doga'
Today I felt like kicking Monday in the balls. But then I remembered something News Director Chris Little sent me last week....
After seeing Mick, all was well....
Conversations With Hubby, just as he is sitting down to eat his homemade chili and Premium Saltine Crackers:
Hubby: Where are the crackers, the saltines?
Me: Right there
Me: They're in that box.
Hubby: That's not the regular box.
Me: No, it's a new box.
Hubby: The regular size saltines don't fix in that kind of a box.
Me: That's because they're new...they're round ones.
Hubby: Round saltines?
Hubby: That's not right.
Hubby: That's not right.
Me: What do you mean? They're the same as regular saltines, same brand, just different shape, same taste, it's the same.
Hubby: Yes, but they're not square. The square ones are firmer.
Me: How do you know? You haven't tried them.
Hubby: I just know (as he opens the box with a puss on his face)
<sigh> they're not as strong. <sigh> See? The chili broke
it. <sigh> Why didn't you buy the regular saltines again?
Me: Because these were $1.19 a box and I had a $1 coupon for each box, so I bought two boxes for .19 cents each.
Hubby: So I have to suffer just because you're an extreme couponer?
If you listen to the show you'll know that we all believe in being organ donors. So when I received a message from a family member about a close friend of theirs in need, I wanted to pass the information along in case someone who sees this blog might be able to help.
16 years ago, after 5 years on dialysis, Tony Bollin received a kidney transplant. Now a father of 17 month old twins, that kidney is failing and without a new transplant, he will again start dialysis and start the long wait for a new kidney.
Here's the part that sucks. The family's health insurance will cover PART of the transplant, so they're trying to raise $10,000-$20,000 to cover the costs the insurance won't cover.
Click here for information on how you can help. Your donation is tax-deductible.
You can also visit their Facebook page.
If you're in Corona this weekend, there's an event to benefit the Southwest Kidney Transplant Fund.
Click here for the flyer:
Saturday, August 3rd
Horse Thief Canyon Ranch, Lower Community Park
Corona, CA 92883