News anchor. Radio personality. Writer of dark stories and poems. User of incomplete sentences in lieu of comma-separated lists.
I’ve been in the broadcasting industry for longer than I care to admit, long enough to see that what it’s turning into is a completely different thing than what it was. No one knows yet if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. I do believe radio will survive, but it won’t look like anything we expect. Content is still king.
I’ve been writing dark stories and poems since before I got into radio… so it’s interesting to note that I’ve had much more success in the broadcasting field than in the literary. Does this mean I should stop writing? No. My brain won’t let me.
In the meantime I get my jollies being the midday news anchor during the Bill Carroll Show on KFI. I'm a big Carroll fan, so this is juicy for me.
For fun I love good movies, good books and good television. And I love arguing about the definition of “good” when it comes to movies, books and television.
CHECK OUT MY PERSONAL BLOG
YOU CAN ALSO READ MY DARK STORIES AND POEMS
This blog may contain profanity and/or material considered inappropriate. The views expressed in this blog are the opinions of the individual writer and do not necessarily reflect the views of KFI AM-640 and Clear Channel Radio.
A public memorial for TSA officer Gerardo Hernandez was held at the LA Memorial Sports Arena. (11/12/13)
Remember the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld? "No soup for you!" Well, I think L.A. just told me, "No sleep for you!"
Had a bit of trouble getting to sleep, as I occasionally do. So I took a couple of sleeping pills. It wasn't working so I took a third. Finally, I felt myself begin to doze off.
At that moment I started hearing something that sounded like a... sounded like a... A JACKHAMMER! AT A QUARTER TO ONE IN THE MORNING! And I've got to get up in a few short hours...
I simply can't believe my ears. I had to go outside and see what this jackhammer-like sound was.
Yep. It was a work crew and a guy with a jackhammer. AT A QUARTER TO ONE IN THE MORNING!
I love you too, L.A.
NASA's Juno spacecraft performed a fly-by of the earth on October 9 in order to use earth's gravity to increase its velocity on the way to Jupiter. During the fly-by, Juno took some beautiful time-lapse video of the delicate orbital ballet of the earth and the moon.
For best results, set the quality of the video to 720p and watch it in full screen.
I was sleepy. That's the excuse I'm going with.
I took my car in for an oil change Sunday morning. Before they changed the oil, they wanted to check that all my lights were working.
They asked me to turn on my headlights.
At that point, my brain went into shutdown.
Turn on the lights? Something I do in my car ALL THE TIME? Something I do in my car ALL THE TIME FOR THE LAST TWO YEARS I'VE BEEN DRIVING IT?
I couldn't remember how to turn on the headlights.
I sat there absolutely perplexed. I'm sure it was only a few seconds, but it felt like an eternity. Like the way other people feel when I'm telling one of my stories.
The mechanic finally reached in and turned on my headlights for me. "Not your car?" he asked.
I almost said no, but finally offered sheepishly, "I'm still asleep. I was up late last night."
"Uh huh," the mechanic said, very plainly thinking, "My god, what an idiot."
I need a new brain.
Came across some old standup material. Probably why I don't do standup anymore.
I'm one of those guys who always overreacts. My car won't start in the morning and I'm convinced the whole electrical system is shot, but it turned out it was only a dead battery. Car broke down on the highway and I was sure the whole engine needed to be replaced, but it turned out I was just out of gas.
So I tried to stop overreacting, and wouldn't you know it, the one time I don't overreact it turned out there was a real problem. My tire was low the other day, and it turned out I have a brain tumor.
That joke would have really been funny if I actually had a brain tumor.
Now I kinda wish I had a brain tumor.
And the Academy award for Dramatic Cat Acting goes to... Cecil.